Satire: Handbook Knowledge Episode 4 with Peter Panters

Alex Johnson


In Episode Four of Handbook Knowledge with Peter Panters, I sought out some unsuspecting students and faculty members sheltering themselves from the rain. With my usual subjects absent from the amphitheater and outside tables, I was forced to find people in spots that are quite foreign to the show. As this episode revolved around student rights, I tried my best to inform the public of the liberties they hold at this school as stated by the “handbook.”

The highlight of this episode was when I found my first subject that wasn’t a student enjoying their lunch break. When I spotted Assistant Principal Lasandra White strolling into the CEA, I pounced on the opportunity and tracked her down. After some convincing, she listened to my question and even bought the rule I had completely made up regarding infectious diseases and the evacuation protocol. The interview became even better when White dragged Principal David Sondheim into the conversation and he fell for the same trick. This has to be my proudest moment of the show thus far because instead of deceiving the vulnerable underclassmen that do not even know the handbook existed, I was able to fool some of the highest ranking faculty members in the school.

Going in order of the parent/student handbook, the next episode in this series will cover student conduct, the densest section in the handbook. Prepare to expect student misconduct first hand, from your beloved host and perhaps some misconduct from my unsuspecting guests, too.