On Wednesday, Dec. 3, the Tamalpais Union High School District [TUHSD] board held the “Let’s Talk: The Adolescent Brain” event over Zoom, featuring guest speaker Jeffery Leiken, to help parents better understand the adolescent brain along with the social and emotional stages that their children will experience throughout teenage years.

Leiken, the creator of a teen mentoring service called Evolution Mentoring, walked viewers through the three stages teenagers endure, starting at puberty, informing parents of the best ways they can support their child. 

The first stage Leiken described focuses on surviving in the social world, specifically understanding the essential questions kids ask themselves at this time. One key topic pondered upon involves the idea of being cool, attractive or funny enough in the eyes of peers. 

Leiken described how, during stage one, it’s important that parents give their child room to explore and discover what and who is important in their life.

“In this particular stage of life, if parents are constantly acting like, ‘Well, that’s not important, this is what’s important,’ all [they’re] going to do is drive [their] kid away,” Leiken said.

Leiken described that the second stage occurs when kids begin working to find their self-identity and ask themselves, “Who am I?”

“[For parents], it’s recognizing that [during the second stage, their child] is going through and trying [different identities] on. I really suggest letting them go through it and try to be somebody who can better help them,” Leiken said.

The third stage is when kids emerge into adulthood and begin asking themselves, “Am I ready?” During this stage, it’s important for teens to experience and overcome what might make them feel worried or scared.

“Nothing equates to actually doing [hard things]. Running your first meeting, and realizing you lived through it and did just fine, you start to actually feel like an adult,” Leiken said.

Leiken concluded by saying that once the answer to the question from stage three is a yes, then the teenager is really prepared to step into adulthood.

During the event, Marin Academy sophomore Vanessa Robbins used her own experiences as a teenager to voice her opinion on Leiken’s message. Robbins believes parents can be of help during this time of questioning.

“When you’re talking to your kids, suggestions and options are better than advice, because with my parents, I just need someone to listen to me,” Robbins said.

According to Leiken, the main goal of the presentation was to provide parents with the tools and understanding they need in order to assist their kids during this complicated time period.

“My hope is that parents will listen to this [presentation] and realize, ‘Wow, that’s what’s going on with my daughter or son right now, and the way I’ve been handling it is actually doing a disservice to my relationship with them. I’m missing a golden opportunity to be of incredible value to them,’” Leiken said.