Imagine that the world as you know it has come to a stop? Having to venture into the waiting room every day, leaving loved ones behind to battle with cancer. This was the case for Redwood and Bark alumni Laura Holmes Haddad. Holmes Haddad was diagnosed with stage four inflammatory cancer when she was 37. She wrote the book “This is Cancer: Everything you need to know from the Waiting Room to the Bedroom,” about her experience. With suggestions on how to navigate the cancer journey based on her own trials and tribulations, Holmes Haddad hoped to educate others and give back to the cancer community.
Her writing journey started towards the end of her cancer treatments, when she began to journal about her experiences.
“After I went through so much in every phase, I found out there was so much that I didn’t know, and I assumed that if I didn’t know it, not many people did either,” Holmes Haddad said. “I really wanted to give back to the cancer community and write all the things that I wish I had known. It covers from diagnosis to treatment, through survivorship – the three big areas of being a cancer patient.”
Holmes Haddad wanted to incorporate the deep and dark parts of cancer that not many doctors or loved ones express in hopes of “protecting” you. The book gives raw answers that aren’t commonly talked about during the cancer process.
Holmes Haddad struggled with remembering the entire experience when writing her book.
“Reliving [my battle with cancer was difficult], especially because the hardest part for me was leaving my kids to go to treatment or not being able to be with them on the playground when I wanted to,” Holmes Haddad said.
Another aspect of the book is paying tribute to the caregivers who provide immense support to their patients.
“I really wanted to give [back] to both patients and caregivers. [Caregivers] in particular because I think when you get a cancer diagnosis, you don’t realize the impact of it, not just on you, but the entire family or whoever is helping you,” Holmes Haddad said.
Beverly Domet, Holmes Haddad’s close friend, views Holmes Haddad as a powerful, go-getter person, which is evident in her cancer advocacy, but also someone who can discuss difficult topics, such as the difficulty of undergoing cancer treatment.
“She’s very open to discussing what’s going on in her life, which I think permits people to be open back. I think she was willing to discuss things that maybe people find awkward or difficult to talk about. What happens to a young marriage when you’re having cancer treatment? How do you handle young children?” Domet said.
Domet describes Holmes Haddad as a “force of nature” and admires how she will go after whatever sparks her interest.
“[She is] just such a fascinating person and a very fun and interesting person to be around,” Domet said. “If she goes into something, she goes into it with her whole heart and intellect.”
Lesley Reidy, Holmes Haddad’s sister and Redwood and Bark alumni, gave insight into her journey with cancer and the impact that it had on their relationship as sisters. Holmes Haddad complained about a rash, so Reidy accompanied her to get a sonogram the day before Thanksgiving. The next day, Holmes Haddad was called to the hospital.
“I think it was such a period of disbelief, and yet this incredible solidifying force of ‘Whatever this is, we are coming at it with everything we’ve got,’” Reidy said. “It was right then and there that we decided: No matter what comes at us, we are together in this as sisters, as mothers of these five young children between us, and I think it’s instinctual.”
For Reidy, Holmes Haddad’s cancer journey was a very long and frustrating process. After jumping from hospital to hospital, petitions and rallies allowed Holmes Haddad to be accepted in a successful clinical trial.
“I hope that the drug is being marketed today, so that other patients have access to such a lifesaving treatment,” Reidy said.
According to Reidy, the Marin community, especially the network mothers, really helped during the whole process. Whenever times got dark, there would be items such as a plate of brownies at their front door or people at Costco ready to help. Without this community, Reidy isn’t sure if they would have been able to get through this hard chapter in their lives.
Additionally, Reidy and Holmes Haddad met a single mom during the City of Hope clinical trial who sadly had to drop out of the trial, presumably due to financial issues. This experience led Holmes Haddad to do advocacy work with Blue Cross. She was able to modify the insurance policy, providing additional support to those in need. Holmes Haddad and her book inspire cancer advocacy, offering ways for people to discuss difficult topics that can be uncomfortable but are crucial to address.
