Maddy Kragh:

Maddy Kragh’s motto is “always classy, never trashy, except for that one time.” Maddy  drives a silver station wagon named Big Booty Judy. Previously, she was the proud owner of a minivan, but unfortunately, she crashed it into a tree. Maddy has played on the varsity soccer team for two years and has been in Peer Resource for two years as well. She is very passionate about helping others and hopes to become an elementary school teacher one day. Maddy is one of five siblings; she spends a lot of time trying to live up to the legacy of the Thizzard of Oz. If you would like to be updated on everything Maddy does, which you probably should because she’s very interesting, follow her on instagram @thatshitkragh.

Giorgio Cico:

Galloping through the water, the Italian Stallion makes a graceful shot into the cages of an aquatic environment known as a swimming pool. This unordinary pony has been described as “every woman’s wildest dreams”. Giorgio, a starter on the varsity water polo team, has been on varsity polo for four years and varsity swimming for three.  Giorgio is an editor of The Root, an up-and-coming student-run sports magazine. He fluently speaks French, Italian, and English. Giorgio also plays the jazz flute, does not listen to music, and has never allowed another Redwood student, besides his younger brother, to come over to his house. Giorgio cares about fine Italian wine, chocolate, bread, and himself.

Gabriela Manuela:

Everytime Queen G, Gabilicious, Gabster, Gabs, Gabi, or Gabriela smiles, ten puppies are born. She is known around campus for her charisma and positive attitude. Gabi is a member of Link Crew, Peer Resource, Dance Focus, and Junior Statesmen of America. She is also a four-year drama student and an intern for EPiC. Just like the fruit in your smoothie, Queen G is tropical. She hails from the island of Curaçao and fluently speaks four languages: English, Spanish, Dutch, and Papiamentu. Queen G is an only child who is very close with her family and is always looking to make new friends.

Danielle McCauley:

“I wish I was one of those huge football dudes,” said Danielle McCauley, commonly known as DMac. “I’m like a big dude in a small tiny girl’s body.”  Not only does she have a great sense of humor, but she is also known for her down-to-earth, humble demeanor. Despite living at a vertically challenged height of five foot one and three quarters, DMac likes to display her athleticism on the varsity basketball team. When she’s not ruling the basketball court, DMac is a member of Peer Resource, loves surfing, and enjoys eating her favorite food, the potato, in all of its forms. But that’s not it for DMac — she has been tap dancing for fifteen years and has been bitten by two snakes and a centipede.

Bailey Osborn:

“I’m actually a terrible dancer,” Bailey said. “But I’m known for being really good at being a bad dancer.” Bailey Osborn, a four-year varsity volleyball player and co-host of Redwood TV, is the ultimate Bae; she hikes, reads, plays guitar and can even flare her nostrils in quick intervals. Bailey lives off of Burritoville and always orders the really hot salsa. Her all-time favorite TV show is Summer Heights High, andshe connects with Jonah Takalua on a personal level. People know Bailey by her southern flair—she drives a black Dodge Ram pickup truck, listens to country music, and is great at imitating accents.

Joe Matthews:

“Joe’s extremely boring,” said no one ever. In fact, most people would describe him as “a beautiful soul” or “that kid with an adorably funny sister.” The senior class president, varsity water polo player, and swimmer is a hill dweller in one of the prime spots on Christmas Tree Hill. You may not know this, but Joe claims to have played Jenny’s baby in Forrest Gump as an infant. Joe has many hidden talents, such as spinning a basketball on his finger and sending hilarious snapchats. Joe also has a pet dog named Decaf. Please note that Joe does not drink coffee. If you ever enter a Starbucks with him, he will have one of his many personal assistants order him a strawberry frappuccino in a cup meant for hot drinks.

Brooks Roenisch:

“They hate me,” Roenisch said. “They only pee in my room, nowhere else. ” Brooks Roenisch has two pet Chihuahuas named Jojo and Coco. He is on the varsity swim and soccer teams and is a member of Link Crew and the Environmental Action Club. Brooks rides his bike to school every day, rain or shine—it builds character. If you ever meet Brooks, the first things you will notice are his famous bulging calves, rosy cheeks, and contagious smile. Every time there is a Golden State Warriors game, Brooks can be seen sporting the team’s uniform from head to toe. One of his celebrity crushes is Captain America, his favorite movie is Captain America, and his favorite country is Captain America.

Jacob Zazzeron:

First things first, Jacob is not dating Shauna Perigo or Kismet Kumar. In fact, Jacob is in a committed relationship with someone else: Beyoncé. He’s been to two of her concerts and has already picked out his tux for the wedding. Jacob has also been in Leadership for four years. He served as vice president of his sophomore and junior classes and is the current ASB vice president, but basically considers himself to be the president. Jacob competed on varsity swimming his first two years at Redwood, but switched over to the varsity volleyball team his junior year and is currently a member of the best intramural volleyball team on campus: The Regime. Jacob is also a Disneyland season passholder and has already visited four times this year.

Kismet Kumar:

“Jacob is basically my personal assistant,” said Kismet, the actual ASB President. Despite having the highest position in leadership, Kismet is the shortest person in the class. She has been in leadership for four years and was the class president her freshman, sophomore, and junior years. She is also a co-president of the Junior Statesmen of America Club, treasurer of the Key Club, and a member of the Future Focus Club. Kismet played lacrosse her freshman and sophomore years and plans to return to her lax bro ways this spring. Before every speech she gives, Kismet likes to sit in her car and rap to Been On by G-Eazy. Kismet has also attended over ten concerts and has met One Direction, Justin Bieber, Simon Cowell, Britney Spears, and various other celebrities.

Megan Rios:

If you have ever been to Chipotle, you’ve probably seen Megan. She’s a burrito fiend with a caring heart and a big appetite, and she can out-eat anyone.  Megan Rios is an AP Photo student, varsity swimmer, Junior Statesmen of America member, and Link Crew leader. Megan also works with Special Olympics. In her spare time, she likes to hunt, take photos, mountain bike, river raft, and hike. Deep down, Megan is a cat lady who likes to spend quality time with her cat, Kitty. Her favorite activity is napping and she hopes to one day open a flower shop like one of those old ladies who just sits around, arranges flowers, and sells them for too much money.

LaRon Bullock:

“I have four cats,” LaRon said. “My mom is a self-proclaimed crazy cat lady.” LaRon is a varsity basketball player and Link Crew member. He also works with Bridge the Gap and is passionate about conserving the environment. In his spare time, the unofficial Vineyard Vines model likes to observe microscopic marine life in the marsh and do donuts in the front parking lot — he has so much skill that he can do it while the lot is full. LaRon is a big fan of any movie written or produced by Quentin Tarantino, but he respects Steven Spielberg’s talent as well. Before he was the smooth gentleman we all know, LaRon was a chunky middle schooler at Del Mar with an afro and glasses. He used to love Star Wars, Greek Mythology, and trains.

Aaron Dorfler:

“I can’t really think of any flaws,” said Aaron Dorfler, who most would consider the perfect specimen.  Along with being the captain and quarterback of the varsity football team and member of the varsity baseball team, Aaron is one of the top 50 most talented writers on the Bark staff. Currently, Aaron is enjoying a vacation in Wrap City with his cat, Twix. Not only is Aaron Jewish and proud, but he also has a close connection with children and the elderly. He bought his 2002 Ford Escape from his Grandma and umpires for Little League baseball. His celebrity crush is Scarlett Johansson. Scarlett, if you’re reading this, please contact Aaron immediately.