On June 2, slam poets from across the Tam District will compete in the annual TUHSD Slam Poetry Competition. Senior Luke Armstrong and sophomore Stevie Becker collaborated with the Redwood team to put their poems to electronic instrumentals. Disclaimer: All bios are satirical.

Jason Seavey

Known as “Skeevy” to his friends and “Ras the Destroyer” to his enemies, Jason Seavey wrote his first slam poem after finding a mysterious note hidden in the bell of his trumpet instructing him to audition for the team. He continues to find notes of encouragement, and also sometimes cheese. Jason’s rhymes are so sick, three outbursts of the bubonic plague have been attributed to him alone. Jason enjoys sleeping under pool tables, pre-rap banter, and his girlfriend. He really, really, likes his girlfriend.

Matt Cummings

In searching for a community that would value his prodigious ability to snap, Matt stumbled upon spoken-word poetry when he was just four months old. Since then, he has learned to speak the English language and control his facial expressions. As of press time, he has never communicated with other humans. He will attempt to break the sound barrier at this year’s SLAM: a small step for mankind but a big step for a hopelessly vocally repressed teenager with sweet nothings to say to the world.

Olivia Sinclair

Born in Marin’s desolate streets, Sinister Rhymes makes a living warping depressed silence into rapid poetic streams. She hates to play pool, but flows so hard that God tried to balance her talents with a lethal strain of diabetes. Ever since her diagnosis she’s been adding a layering of bubble wrap to her attire in hopes of distancing herself from the easily contaiminated society. Not to worry though, in words similar to her own, “she’s doing just grape.” She finds inspiration in skinning grapes in her free time, hence the pun, and looks forward to a world in which green grapes aren’t discriminated against.

Sabrina Nargiz

Sabrina Narg (pronounced Saah-brinn-uh) was born in 1997 and has bustin’ out slam poems since she became angry when asked if she wears all black on purpose. She does in fact wear all black on purpose. Sabrina has been making headway ever since her first performance, however, Sabrina faced a small obstacle when diagnosed with a fatal disease which created severe over salivation, causing her to drool uncontrollably when performing her slam poems. Sabrina has been holding up strong though presenting her poems without making her words sound like they came out of a broken dishwasher with too much all in one cascade complete; a common side effect to the disorder.

Jake Baldwin

Born in New York in 1926, Jake Baldwin is a beat poet currently residing in a small flat in Paris. He has only ever been observed wearing sunglasses which leads some to ask, “Does he even have eyes under there?” While that issues remains up for debate, we can all agree Jake Baldwin has a voice, one so smoothe his recordings are frequently used to lubricate squeaky hinges. It has also been known to send pregent women into labor in impregnate anyone else within hearing distance (man or woman. His voice does not discriminate.)

Rayna Saron

Rayna Saron has made quite an impression on the Marin youth poetry slam community with her flowing lines and impressive control of the English language. Often found alone with her tuba, Rayna’s best friends are her sense of superiority and collection of cardigans.

McKinley Clemons

A young man with great ambition, McKinley Clemons draws inspiration from many sources but points to one in particular, listing Casey Veggies as “probably the best rapper out right now.” Clemons combats his issues with mainstream consumerism by hyper-aggressively representing the OBEY label with every piece of clothing that has ever graced his sweet skin.