“What’s the big deal if I’m not driving anywhere, and we’re in this one house, and no one else is coming,” said “Brooke,” a student who wished to remain anonymous. “And so I started drinking.”

The night began as a few teenagers gathered for some recreational drinking. One drink led to another, and it wasn’t long until everyone was intoxicated. Brooke was being hit on by a guy she’d never met before, and after a while he was leading her away from the crowded area into a secluded bedroom.

It was then that she said her memory began to lapse as the alcohol set in.

“Next thing I remember I’m on my back, and he’s on top of me,” Brooke said. “There’s pain, there’s heat.”

But Brooke hadn’t intended to go that far that night.

“I guess when he realized that I wasn’t going to give him what he wanted, which was to get on top of him and start fucking him, he got a little angry,” she said.

Brooke said he then physically forced himself on her.

Looking back, Brooke believes the situation would’ve occurred much differently had she not been so intoxicated. According to Brooke, she hadn’t fully realized the implications of what had happened until it was too late.

“The lines get so blurry so quickly when you’re drinking. I feel like if you’re not doing it with a group of people that you feel absolutely safe with then it’s dangerous,” Brooke said. “There was a huge gap between what was happening to me and what was happening in my mind. I was so drunk that by the time I was aware what was happening, it was over.”

According to the January Bark Sex survey, 12.5 percent of students who engage in sexual activity almost always have intercourse under the influence of alcohol and other drugs.

“It’s not people going and hiding in a corner and drinking, but [teenagers are] drinking at parties where you know hormones are raging and inhibition is lowered,” said Social Issues teacher Jon Hirsch. “I think it’s natural to assume that there’s going to be some sort of effect on sexual activity.”

According to Planned Parenthood, nearly one third of young adults have reported that they’ve “done more” sexually under the influence of alcohol and drugs than they planned while sober.

In Brooke’s case, she said that being intoxicated severely altered her ability to say no.

“When you’re drunk and can’t give consent, you really don’t know whether in that moment, if you were sober, you would have done the same thing,” Brooke said.

In California, minors are not legally allowed to give consent to sex, and people who are intoxicated also cannot give consent. In legal terms, both instances constitute as rape.

Every day, Brooke still struggles with the emotions that came from that night.

“I feel like I was ruined, that someone took something from me,” Brooke said.

Michael Grogan, a psychologist for the Jeannette Prandi Children’s Center in San Rafael, has dealt with many cases similar to Brooke’s.

“The majority of rapes and sexual assaults are by people that the kids know, whether it’s date rape or acquaintance rape, so they are familiar with the person and the person gains their trust,” Grogan said. “They exploit that trust to find them in a situation where the perpetrator can take advantage of that trust and forcibly have sexual contact with the victim.”

Similarly, Brooke had believed she was in a safe place.

Now she said she still has some difficult choices to make.

“I believe that it all comes back around. And that it’s not going to be okay for him. I still consider it an option to call him up and talk to him one day, not right now, but maybe one day in the future,” Brooke said.

According to Brooke, she is not sure if she will take legal action against her perpetrator.

“I need to take care of myself and pressing charges was too big of a burden at that time because of the situation,” Brooke said.

Although Brooke hasn’t chosen to pursue legal means yet, she’s found other ways to recover.

“I don’t know if you ever find peace with it,” Brooke said. “But you can move forward and be okay and be healthy without being at peace. I feel like I’m ready to move forward and make peace with the opposite sex.”

Brooke chose to open up and share her story to warn others of the dangers and consequences of the unsafe situations that can arise from teen drinking.

“I wanted to share my story even though it’s so painful,” Brooke said. “I want girls at Redwood who might be feeling the same way to know that they’re not alone. That it is possible to share those feelings and move forward, even move out of the dark place that you can be in.”