Following my parents’ split, Gary flew in from Virginia to help my mother and sisters settle into our new apartment. A friend of my mother, Gary went out of his way to comfort and support me, listening and talking about my father without ever losing patience. At some point throughout our conversation, I told him I had never gone to a baseball game with my father before.
A couple days later, Gary showed up unexpectedly and asked if I wanted to go to a baseball game. Every moment of that day has been committed to memory, and it’s undeniable that during that period he was a temporary father figure to me; he provided a father-son experience I had lacked with my actual father. Gary’s genuine kindness touched me on a level that nothing ever had before.
Gary is your typical working-class person, and to a stranger he might not be the poster child of success. He isn’t a millionaire, and he doesn’t have a mansion in Beverly Hills. But in my mind, Gary is the epitome of a successful person because of his ability to make a positive difference in a person’s life.
Every Redwood student I have met is ambitiously creating a portfolio of AP classes, club memberships and varsity letters in order to “distinguish” themselves in the eyes of universities. They believe that if they run the rat race and follow the guidelines, they’ll become rich and therefore lead a successful life. However, I believe that my peers are misled by what it means to be successful. Success is defined by the positive impact you make on others around you and how you make other’s lives better, not by your riches.
Just the other day, I was with my friends in the cafeteria and everyone was talking about the up-and-coming AP Capstone course that will be offered to next year’s junior class for the first time.
Everyone was stressing the fact that it was a “rare” AP course that would look amazing to colleges. But never once did I hear someone say, “I think the class looks interesting,” or simply, “It seems fun.”
A lot of the activities an ambitious student does is to improve their chances of getting into a good college. But why? Is it truly for the quality of the school? While a college education is useful, students work hard for something else: to become successful. In other words, students do all this for the long run. They do it for their future.
We use this misconception to guide us through high school, thinking that if we take these AP courses and do this, that and the other thing, we’ll become successful. But this isn’t the case. While taking multiple AP courses can improve one’s chances of getting into a good college and later obtaining a well-paying job, they won’t have any effect on how many lives you change and how many people you touch.
Do you truly want to be remembered by how much money and convenience you had in your life? Wouldn’t you rather that people remember you by the positive difference and impact you’ve made on the world?
At Redwood, instead of just being taught the importance of getting good grades, students should learn to make small positive differences in the lives of people around them. These changes can come from helping another classmate out on something they’re struggling in or even simply giving someone a gentle smile as you pass them in the hall.
Not just at Redwood but in all schooling systems, we have to create a focus for the students that isn’t all about work, work, work. We need to make the point that success isn’t going to be based off the work you do in school or the kind of job you’ll have in the future, but rather the positive effect you have on the world and the individuals around you.
