Satire: Handbook Knowledge Episode 5 with Peter Panters

Alex Johnson

In Episode Five of Handbook Knowledge with Peter Panters, I took on the largest section of the Parent/Student Handbook, which covers student conduct. As I made my way through the outside lunch tables on a warm Monday afternoon, I got a feel for how much students really know about the rules. 

A majority of the questions I asked in this episode revolved around trying to convince people of falsified ways that you could get expelled. However, I found out early on that people were not buying that type of approach, so I moved to comments about suspensions and fake statements from the Board of Trustees. 

This episode saw yet another milestone that I was very happy to have accomplished. Right at the beginning of our shoot, I successfully interviewed the first animal in Handbook Knowledge history, who ended up being a lot more intelligent than many of my other interviewees. It was safe to say that Rocket the Wellness dog stole the show very early on in the episode. 

One trend I noticed with this episode was that, though unintentional, many of my questions had something to do with human waste. I guess there is just something about defecating and urinating that fools people to the point where I was able to convince someone that my friend excreted all over the solar panels. It seems to be getting easier and easier.

With the biggest section in the Handbook out of the way, the next episode will focus on the smallest section, which is professional conduct. You can definitely expect to see some professional misconduct.