I love you. Those three words, arguably the three most important of any language, pose a universal dilemma for almost anyone taking part in a newly-committed relationship. Just as an unreciprocated “I love you” can bring an immediate end to a relationship, sharing one’s love without deep consideration can doom a relationship in the long run.

Of course it is perfectly fine to date casually without any further commitment, but the love dilemma is one that befalls many a young couple that barrels through the early stages of romance. Should I say it? Do I really feel it? Do they feel it?

This is a dilemma particularly prevalent among young couples, and with Valentine’s Day fast approaching (my email is noted below, hit me up), I find myself pondering the implications of the phrase “I love you.” Are the emotions that those implications are founded in truly fathomable at this age?

Through reflection on past relationships of my own, I believe that they are. Love is an entirely valid emotion and experience at this age, but it can be hard to distinguish from lust. For me, romantic love could be described simply as a deep affection, respect, trust, and understanding for a significant other. But for someone else it could mean something different— hence the difficulty.

It can be dangerously easy to declare one’s love out of lust felt in the heat of the moment, but that can quickly lead to more commitment than initially intended, inevitably dragging a relationship downhill if the feeling is untrue.

Determining one’s level of affection for another is a personal matter. However, the decision whether or not to present that affection properly is a more concrete one—do not say “I love you” if you don’t mean it. Don’t do it.

No healthy relationship can survive for long when it is based on misconceptions.  Leading someone on is ultimately harmful for everyone involved and will lead to more suffering than necessary. With all the nonchalance involved in hooking up today, we need to be able to maintain some element of romance.

Obviously not everyone can be Noah from The Notebook (though I can still try), but love is meant to be a unique and beautiful experience, not one tainted by the haste with which it is pronounced.